Friday, February 11, 2011

"I Didn't Want To Get Married." - Angie Roach

Editor's Note: Women. Angie came to me a few days ago, and said this: "I am a 31 year old married mother of one beautiful little 16 month old boy. I've been married for going on 6 years (holy crap!). I was the girl who never wanted to get married and would rather be married to my career. My life is better than I could have ever expected and it is all because I found someone who didn't change me. I didn't try to change at all, and somehow we loved each other unconditionally." So many of you women are extraordinarily talented & have such promise for your careers, and are in the same place that Angie was six years ago. So, I asked Angie to please write for us here & tell a bit of her story. She blogs at and tweets at @angie608.

I never thought I was going to be anything other than Carrie Bradshaw. In 2001, from the moment I set foot in New York, I thought that it was where I was meant to be. I had an internship in TV, I had an apartment for the summer in Manhattan, and I was ready to start my life as Nebraska transplant turned I-can-do-anything-I-don’t-need-a-man-career-woman. The problem was, after three months, I hated it.

So, I moved to Chicago...ready to restart my life as the Nebraska transplant turned I-can-do-anything-I-don’t-need-a-man-career-woman. The problem was, Jeff. Yes, I just called my husband a problem. You see, when I met him, he changed my plan. We were set up through a mutual “friend”, we talked through email for weeks, and finally met for dinner over Thai food in Hyde Park. He was persistent; ever after I told him he was the “big brother I always wanted.” Yeah, I am that smooth.

You see, Jeff was different. He didn’t try to be anything other than himself. He didn’t buy into my drama. He didn’t want anything more than to make me happy and to have a happy life. I had never met anyone like that before. I had never allowed myself to let go of control and never had let someone else come before me, until him.

Our first months of dating were full of travel for Jeff (who worked in Sports Marketing) and travel for me (who at the time worked for a Non-Profit). We saw each other when we could. We made the choice to make time for each other. We made the choice to let go of others in our life. We made the choice to be together.

Shortly after we started dating, Jeff’s dad suddenly passed away. It was the most put up or shut up moment for both of us. I watched his family come together – me included. I saw how important a family is...and it was that moment that I realized for me, this was the life I wanted. I made that choice.

We have been married now since 2005 and had our son in 2009. I haven’t give up on my career, my independence, or my control. I haven’t given up on any dream, in fact my life is better now than I could have ever imagined. My marriage, my life, my family have never held me back from anything – they have made every aspect of my life better. Every day is a reminder that I choose this life and it has been the best decision I have ever made.



Ashley Reale said...

What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing Angie!!!

kaleighsomers said...

I feel like you were just sitting down telling us a story over a mug of coffee. This is inspiring in so many ways.

Sara said...

Thank you so much for sharing your encouraging story. Marriage gets such a bad wrap these days...and there is that fear for women (or at least there was for me) that by marrying you are making a choice to choose a man and put any other dreams on a shelf.

Thanks for the reminder that life is not so black and white.

(And that marriage is awesome.)

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